Archive for Open letter’s to Jason

It’s been a year today…

September 3, 2010 Love <3, Open letter's to Jason No comments

A CHILD LOANED

“I’ll lend you for a little time A child of Mine,” He said,” For you to love the while he lives, And mourn for when he’s dead.

It may be six or seven years or twenty-two or three, but will you, til I call him back, Take care of him for me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief, you’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return, but there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked this wide world over in my search for teacher true, And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes, I have selected you;

Now will you give him all your love, not think the labour vain, nor hate me when I come to call and take him back again?

I fancied that I heard them say,’ Dear Lord, Thy will be done, for all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we’ll run.

We’ll shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may, And for the happiness we’ve known, forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him much sooner than we planned, we’ll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand’.

Written by: Edgar Guest

Well Jason, it’s been a year today since I sat down at my computer and read the tragic news of your passing.  A year since I read about the shooting and prayed that it wasn’t you who did that to yourself.  A year since I sat here and cried and screamed for what felt like hours and hours.  I miss you more then you could ever know!

I keep your picture in a frame in my bedroom that proudly hangs on my wall above the computer where I can glance at you when I choose too.  I wonder if you can hear me when I talk to you.  I like to think that you do.  I talk to your mom quite a bit, I cherish her friendship, she’s been a source of strength for me and I for her when we each have a bad day.

I’m getting tattooed today in honor of you, it seems to be the only fitting way to celebrate your life <3

I love you.

I miss you!

July 13, 2010 Open letter's to Jason No comments

Your mom sent me a picture of you today.  It’s a really nice picture, in it your smiling.  I like that.

Jason, I miss his smile

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, that in and of itself is nothing new though really now is it?  I’ve also been thinking a lot about the relationship advice you gave me once.  When I first read that IM I thought your way of thinking was a little strange since relationships take time to evolve to that point.  Then I met someone and all of a sudden it made so much sense to me!

I wish you were here so we could talk about this.  I miss having you around, especially when I feel as if I need you the most.  I know it’s terribly selfish of me, I’m not the only one who’s missing you these days.  Like your mom.  I like your mom, she’s really nice!  She’s been a wonderful source of strength for me trough all of this.  Countless other people have been nothing short of amazing as well.  Hearing from your mom makes it a little easier to cope.  The one year anniversary of your death is creeping up on me real fast these days.

I’m not sure how I’m going to handle that.  Feels like it was only yesterday some days.  Others  feel as if it’s been longer then that, if that makes any sense?  I finally got around to getting a picture of you printed.  It’s hanging up on my wall in my bedroom.  It’s comforting to me, feels like your closer then you really are.  Sometimes I can almost sense your presence giving me strength when I feel like I have none left.  Thank you for that, I love you!  I miss you so much Jason, and I always will.

Love,

Steph